That's all I can do
by Luxara
Summary: This is a sad OneShot that came to my mind while listening to Phil Collins' take a look at me now. Read to find out more.


**That's all I can do…**

**Disclaimer:**

_J.A.G. an its characters belong to DPB, I'm not making any profit with this. The lyrics belong to Phil Collins (song is named 'Against the odds / take a look at me now')._

**A/N:**

_My last JAG-fanfiction was written long ago, so I don't know how good/ bad this is – I mean, it took me three minutes to remember Mac is called Mac…. Please review._

He arrived at her apartment building, parking his SUV in another street so she wouldn't see him if she came home.

He closed the car door, locking his vehicle before walking the short distance to the house, hiding behind a tree to see if she had already arrived – she hadn't.

Then he went to the door, his hand tentatively pushing his hand against it. It opened – as always.

He slipped inside, hiding beneath the stairs to wait for her…

Colonel Sarah MacKenzie finally arrived at her home after a long day of work. She got out of her 'Vette, closing the door and locking the car.

Sighing, she went to the door, tentatively pushing to check if it was opened. It was. Mac went inside, waiting for the elevator to arrive.

He was standing in a corner, looking at her. She was still beautiful – just like she had been when he had left…

She entered the elevator, the doors shutting behind her. For an instant all he wanted to do was to run in after her, take her into his arms and never let her go.

But he just turned around and left after the doors had closed. Left through the always opened door, arriving at his car and unlocking it.

Harmon Rabb took one last glance behind him, seeing the light go on in her apartment. Then he got into his car and drove away – just like he did every other evening…

**_How can I just let you walk away, just let you leave without a trace_**

**_When I stand here taking every breath with you, ooh_**

_**You're the only one who really knew me at all**_

It had been a warm, sunny day in August. He had arrived at J.A.G. like he had always done. It had been 11:33 and twenty seconds as the phone rang.

It had been the hospital. Mattie had died that morning, had died without even waking up again.

He had wanted to talk to her, wanted to tell her what had happened, wanted to have someone to cry with.

She had just left, hadn't paid attention to him – had had her own problems…

That day he had resigned his commission, had left without a word. He had never again spoken to her, hadn't met her. She had refused his only invitation.

**_How can you just walk away from me,_**

**_when all I can do is watch you leave_**

**_Cos we've shared the laughter and the pain and even shared the tears_**

_**You're the only one who really knew me at all**_

He was now living in a small apartment somewhere in Washington. He had sold his former apartment, it hadn't meant anything to him after the two person he hadloved the most had left him.

He was still a lawyer, not in the Navy, of course. He won his cases, was successful, had much to do – but no victory in court was enough to fill the hole Mattie's death had caused inside of him.

_**So take a look at me now, oh there's just an empty space**_

_**And there's nothing left here to remind me,**_

_**just the memory of your face**_

_**Ooh take a look at me now, well there's just an empty space**_

_**And you coming back to me is against the odds and that's what I've got to face**_

He still cried himself to sleep at night. Life didn't make sense anymore, the only thing that kept him alive was her. She didn't know it, but as long as she existed, he'd wait at her door every single evening, making sure she was safe, always wishing she would see him…

_**I wish I could just make you turn around,  
turn around and see me cry  
There's so much I need to say to you,  
so many reasons why  
You're the only one who really knew me at all**_

He knew he wouldn't get her back, knew she had forgotten him over the years. She would marry someone within the next months, so much he knew. Then he remembered his little talk with Bud half a year ago – he was the only person he had spoken to after leaving J.A.G.

At that time, she had had a 'boyfriend', who happened to be his replacement at J.A.G.

From Bud's explanation he knew he was much like Bugme, the only difference was that he wasn't from Australia…

Harm sometimes wondered if that man was the lucky one who got her or if she had found another hopefully nice guy.

He didn't know what to do after she had married, she'd have someone to take care of her then. Maybe he'd just leave…

_**So take a look at me now, well there's just an empty space  
And there's nothing left here to remind me, just the memory of your face  
Now take a look at me now, cos there's just an empty space**_

But to wait for you, is all I can do and that's what I've got to face  
Take a good look at me now, cos I'll still be standing here  
And you coming back to me is against all odds  
It's the chance I've gotta take

Take a look at me now

"At least I can watch over her," he thought, reaching his expensive apartment. "That's all I can do…"

**THE END…**


End file.
